"WHAAAAAA?"

I took off for the week to go write a multi-service publication about opening airfields. Since I’ve been well educated by my Minions, I’ve become my boss' go-to chick for all things airfield and tactical air traffic control related. I think it’s because he likes me finally. That, or he might be weirded out by me. I don’t know. I think I’ll favor the first one.

So, he likes me, and he said that I could go to Langley Air Force Base to rock out with the multi-service tactics, techniques and procedures (MTTP) gurus at the Air Land Sea Application Center, ALSA. Unlike joint pubs where everyone tries to out-do each other in awesomeness and attractiveness, multi-service ALSA pubs are supposed to be for the actual warfighters to use. So, when the chance came up to develop the Airfield Opening MTTP a little further for the poor beleaguered Senior Airfield Authorities of Army-land, I said that I would do it.

I feel bad for accidental SAA’s. This is, like, the one time that I have ever felt smarter than that guy about something. Just that once and it will probably never happen again!

When it comes to writing a publication about airfield opening, it should come as no surprise that the Air Force showed up with a whole entourage. I sit at the end of the table in the working group conference room with the token Marine Corps guy. We pretend that we understand what the Air Force is talking about when they say things like “employ the CRG to replace the STT and the AWG with their 89th Wingity Wing MFGSHSUS, 64th Squadron SUSHI.” Actually, I just nod my head and pretend like I know what they're saying because I can usually depend on the Marine Corps guy to speak up and admit that he has no clue what the Air Force is saying. He’s a stand up dude, that Marine. Takin’ one for the team!

So, since I’m speaking for all of Army Aviation about this really complicated Airfield Opening stuff, and every accidental SAA in the Army is looking to me to do the right thing, I felt a little thrown-under-the-bus when MAJ Braveheart, our working group coordinator, told me that some LTC (no doubt suffering from a severe case of ELTCS) from Leavenworth said that the Army didn’t need any more information about doing the SAA job because enough of it existed in joint and Army service doctrine.

Today, when choosing between importance and impotence to describe my job as a doctrine writer, impotence won.

The Marine Corps dude laughed at me.

I pretty much did this...